Today I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with E$ on the phone. Which is really a rare occurrence. She was busy molding the minds of tomorrow's leaders(or prison inmates its hard to tell these days) and she really wanted to talk. So while we were conversing on ridiculous things in my life, she turns to the classroom of 20 2nd graders to get their advice. The question was "What can hairofgold do to get a boyfriend?" Not my idea, but E$ threw that out to the kiddies. The responses were hilarious, and true.
1) Dress pretty-Done. I wear lots of shiny fabrics and sequins kid, you have no idea. Most of the girls thought this was the answer, sort of explains the female population mentality in a way.
2) Pretend like you're rich-Check. This one came from the boys. I have the Coach bag that looks expensive and a bunch of knock off crap from Italy. I could walk around throwing dollar bills in air and "making it rain" like in the rap videos, but my aging car kind of gives away my true poverty-stricken state.
3) Just talk to him and tell him how your life feels- This is actually a great idea little girl. Honesty is the best policy. If only I could just tell boys how my life feels. It feels....real, surreal, unreal. I should probably decide how my life feels before I start talking to others about it.
4) Don't talk to other guys in front of him-Apparently if I talk to other boys in front of the one I like, 2 things will happen:
1) Boy 1 will get jealous and not want to talk to me ever again.
2) Boy 2 will start to like me and then I will have 2 boys liking me... that's a big problem according to the 2nd graders.
5) Ask him out on a date-
6) Don't ask him out on a date-
These were both responses to the same question so as you can tell, I was confused. But thank goodness the 2nd graders explained further.
I can ask a boy out once and if he says yes, then he loves me. If not, I'm never to speak with him again.
But then I was informed that I need to wait for the boy to ask me and to make sure that he pays for the dinner, because guys like that. If I dress pretty and pretend to be rich, this will happen.
I can't remember all the other wonderful advice from them, but it was hilarious. 2nd graders know too much about dating and grown up life.
The Perfect Gift...No, Really...
10 years ago
16 comments:
If you really want to know the truth, you have to throw them a bone and let them (boys) win once in a while. Get off the field and into the stands and romance them with your charms. Men's egos are fragile, so learn the art of flattery.
Oh Anony,
Thank you for your words of advice. I consider myself adequate in the ways of flattery, but could always try more. The purpose of the blog was to display the knowledge that 2nd graders have about grown up life, which I was surprised to see. I will try to follow your counsel and possibly dress more pretty.
hair of gold, i think the 2nd graders have it right on, it sounds like they are pretty preceptive. i would take their advice, if they didn't mention more flattery, it must not be as important as dressing pretty.
Uh... why was E$ talking on the phone with you when she was with her 2nd graders? I'm confused.
And those are golden nuggets of wisdom.
Lisa c., I think dressing pretty is very important and a little make up dose not hurt. Flattery can get you every where. I hate to say it but baseball is just one of those sports that is really not a good thing for a single girl. Watching is ok..but Baseball and basketball is two sports you want to stay away from until you hook your man.... Why was E$ talking on the phone with you when she was with her 2nd graders???
Anonymous,
How do you even know about bball or baseball? E$ was on the phone because the kids were coming back from computer class and still had recess time they could spend inside or outside.
PS
Quickhands thinks you sound sexy. If she wasn't married, I think you two could have been something special.
Quickhands aka Cicada
Anonymous, I also would like to know how you know about baseball and bball, why did you choose those two sports? why should we want to stay away from those sports until the guy is hooked, is he afraid of not looking cool if a girl knows more or plays better? I think we should ask the 2nd graders..."out of the mouth of babes."
Lisa C.:
Can you handle the truth? Guys generally perceive women playing baseball and basketball past high school as "jocks' aka "dikes, or "lesbiens" So what kind of impression, as a single woman, do you think you are giving the guys. And I don't believe you will get this truth out of the mouth of 2nd grade babes. It may seem harsh, but it is the way it is. I hope this is posted by the blog owner and not sensored. If you are a single woman looking for a single man, you are doing yourself no favor being so competitive. Learn the "game" of spectating...there are lots of hot men to be found at the ballpark...wow them with your knowledge, not muscle, and let them show you how to throw a ball. It's great for the ego.
I see those women as honorable, respectable and athletic. And, on top of that, if they are able to prove themselves, they are also in possession of supior genes which is great if you are in the market for making superchildren.
Too bad "anonymous" is going to have uncoordinated babies.
FYI my brother Anony I personally couldn't disagree with you more in any way. A girl sitting in the stands watching everyone play < the girl fielding the short hop grounder and flipping it to second to turn the double play. Guys with the "Guys generally perceive women playing baseball and basketball past high school as "jocks' aka "dikes, or "lesbiens"" mentality clearly have a complex you'd never want to be around anyhow. But good luck with that fragile ego of yours Anony.
Dear Rumbler;
Want to try a little test? See which method gets you a date to dinner and a show, his treat vs. asked to be his short stop on his co-ed baseball team. If it's the latter, good genes don't matter, he wants you for your ability to play ball, and you won't be his dinner date. Give it some thought.
Anonymous,
I have the feeling that you are single. How come your courtship advice and tactics have not landed you a woman? If you want to date Julia why don't you just ask?
WOW. It's getting hot in here. Anony-please watch your language I don't want to have to censor your writings. I feel that you might be on the defense because of other's comments. I hope that doesn't hinder your desire to comment, but why the strong language and opinion? Have I offended you? If so please, let me know and we can remedy this. Also, someone with such strong langauge and passion should be able to stand behind his words and not a anonyomous screen.
Playing sports helps many single women look better in good genes, which is most surely an attractant to those with superior genes...
Dear Anonymous,
I'll have you know I met my fiance, almost husband, playing one of your so-called "lesbian" sports with hairofgold. I sure got a lot of dinner dates out of that. If you can't handle a girl that can hang with you at a few things, I pity your relationships with girls who are lamer at everything than you are. Sounds pretty boring (not to mention chauvinistic). Also, I think you are way braver than anyone for commenting all these hateful things as a no-name.
Post a Comment