There's an old adage that laughter is the the best medicine. Well, I would normally agree, but in lieu of recent events I must contradict. Truth has decided to slice and dice her innards and to make me come home and be her own personal lackey. So before I flew home to beautiful S-Town, I had numerous opportunities to speak to her on the phone. Surgery on the abs are not for woosies because to try to cheer sick people up, the easiest thing to do is crack a joke. But in this case it's actually the worst thing one can do.
As a concerned human being(HairofGold) for the welfare of an aquaintace(Truth) I didn't know what else to do, but crack jokes. That and whenever faced in an awkward or difficult situation, my filter seems to disappear and a fountain of inappropriate remarks flows. So on the phone I would crack a joke, then she would laugh(which I thought was a good way to make things better) then say to stop, grab her stomach and make a moan. It wasn't until I arrived that I noticed how laughter was actually killing Truth.
Every time she started to laugh too hard, she would hurt herself more, maybe taking out a stitch on her stomach or on her innards(I can't make a definitive statement because they are hidden to the outside world) Or maybe the laughter is able to somehow infiltrate her blood and poison it so she has high blood pressure. I'm also thinking that the laughter is to blame for the sudden increase in her acquisition of liquids(11 lbs in 3 days). This only proves how powerful laughter really is and how we should only use it in moderate uses. I'm thinking of starting a laughter awareness group. The public has a right to know of all the damage that laughter really can do. And it not only affects adults, but children too can be under its deadly influences.
So what am I supposed to do now? How am I to help the situation if I can't make her laugh? Am I some sort of dealer of laughter that only worsens someone's life by giving them something they want but it really just hurts them more? Am I handing Truth a spoonful of poison every time I bring a smile to her face. I need to do more research on this.
I knew that the laughter was not the best, but I thought it was limited to the deep soulful laughter that made her pain levels go through the roof. I later found out that even little giggles, mild crackles and silent humms were slowing taking time off Truth's person years. But as a laughter dealer, I don't have my clients best interest at heart.
To demonstrate this I'll give you an example. I turned on Tommy Boy and it was the part where Chris Farley and David Spade are in the hotel and Chris has on David's jacket and starts to sing "Fat Guy in a Little Coat." Truth is a big fan of the movie, but flat out refused to watch, covered her eyes, started to hum and covered up her ears. Which I must add, only makes me laugh, but then I feel bad and turn it off. I hope this passes soon so that I am no longer considered the "Dealer of Death" to Truth. Also, so that she doesn't hurt anymore. But like a dealer, I only have my own interests at heart.
The Perfect Gift...No, Really...
10 years ago
2 comments:
You are the worst.
Please come make me laugh. I am sure that it will cure me of my sickness. But since I don't have a voice right now, you just won't be able to hear me laughing. Is that okay?
LOL--Poor Truth. I would love to here some of your jokes, though :)
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